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it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
