I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
