you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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