hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
