addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize