You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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