I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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