wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
