I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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