Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
