I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
