so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
