I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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