i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
