i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize