I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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