we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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