so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
