tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
honey bunches of taint.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
