the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
