when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
