im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
