Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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