He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I want her autograph on my taint
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
