Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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