I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I want a musical about memes.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
