Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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