aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
