I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
