i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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