No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just pee around me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
