i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
