1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
