Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
