He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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