C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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