Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
