Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
