Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
3pm strippers are depressing
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
