I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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