He passed out mid-signature
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
