he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
