the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
