I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
dude. I can hear the air.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
