Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Boobs are out for the taking
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
