come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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