She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
