The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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