I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Boobs speak an international language.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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