Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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