Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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