Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
