but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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