I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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