If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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