Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize