what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm too high and old for this...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
