Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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