Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
