Don't you send me to vm
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
