you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize