i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
