so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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