Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
