you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
