What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
